Tell your mountain about your God

Tell your mountain about your God.

I read this, thought about it, and scrolled on.

It stuck.

Tell your mountain about your God. I read it again and again, wondering if maybe it meant tell your God about your mountain. I do that. Daily. I tell my God about my mountain(s). I have hundreds of them. The child care situation, the kids-on-campus-anxieties, my insecurities, raising kids in another culture, missing my mama, my sister, my besties… the mountains that I tell my God about never end.

Tell your MOUNTAIN about your God. I read it again.

I close my eyes, sitting on my couch after bedtime, and the dark is comforting. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, and I envision the mountain of the childcare situation (email me if you would like private details)… I envision my childcare situation as a mountain itself, and I walk right up to the base of this mountain.

I don’t know what to do next. I’ve never told my mountain about my God, but I try. I sit so still, breathe deep.

Mountain of childcare grief, my God is …. I think …. why is this so awkward? It would be so much easier to just tell my God about my mountain. I start again.

Mountain of childcare grief, my God is powerful. Do I believe it? I say it louder to my brain. My God is POWERFUL. He can solve this mess. My disbelief is a mountain on its own and I need to deal with that deeply, but I continue.

Mountain of childcare mess, I shout in my brain. My God is powerful! He can fix this. He can use this. Mountain of uncertainties and sadness, my God will bring me his chosen one to help me raise my children. He will! Watch Him!

I open my eyes, stunned. Did I say that? Do I believe it?

I repeat myself again and again, bringing this mountain of who will co-parent our children to the Lord, and telling this mountain about my God. My God who loves my children more than I ever could.

And then, I go to bed. Tomorrow I try it again, telling my mountains about my God, and suddenly my eyes are seeing different. Instead of telling my God about my mountains, dragging my sadness and my grief and my emotions with me into each day, I am standing at the base of these mountains shouting

WATCH MY GOD MOVE YOU. WATCH HIM!

This was two weeks ago, Saturday. We had just finished our week with Nanny number 2, who gently let us know she wouldn’t continue working with us. That night, my sweet friend + neighbour, Tammy, called me. God brought someone to her mind, she said. Someone who could help us with childcare until the end of the year. I called her, listened to her calm voice, and invited her over ASAP. She agreed to come over Sunday afternoon, just hours before we desperately needed someone to stay home with our boys.

We toured her around the house, introduced her to the boys, and sat down on the porch for some get-to-know-you time. I start tomorrow, right? She asked sweetly. And I knew. She is Columbian. She studied in the Netherlands for 2 years, speaks fluent English, and taught at Doulos for a year. She had this year off to prepare for college next year, but was looking for a short time job to help pay for the year ahead. She asked if I was ok if she would research developmentally appropriate activities for the boys, follow my daily schedule, and bring additional resources to teach the boys about Dominican culture. I cried. There was no catch. No buts. No ifs.

And I closed my eyes and laughed at the base of my mountain about my God.

Part 2.

In addition to telling my mountain about my God… sometimes God knows about our mountains before we do. Our very intentional, very observant, very interactive nanny leaves for college this summer, which leaves us with next year. I have not yet told the mountain of next year to my God, but He knew. One of my dear friends, co-workers, and childhood classmates, has been praying and mulling over taking a year off of teaching for a long time. She has wanted to travel, to explore, but to just breathe deep without a classroom setting. Due to covid, she assumed these plans would be put on hold… that is, until, we offered her a full time nanny position. 🙂

After months of prayer, discussing, logistical planning, and researching, we both agreed that THIS IS AWESOME!!!! 😀 Kelsey Dyck will be moving here in July (hopefully travelling back with us after we visit Canada for June/July)!!! Kelsey has agreed to provide full-time childcare for our family while we work at Doulos!!!! We are OVERJOYED. Kelsey is ambitious, adventurous, intentional, and so very compassionate.

I ended my data-draining FaceTime call with her, squeezed my eyes shut, and laughed at the mountain about my God.